Self-love vs People pleasing

As social creatures, we all have a natural tendency to want to be liked and accepted by others. This desire can sometimes lead us to engage in people-pleasing behavior, where we prioritize the opinions and feelings of others over our own. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to make others happy, consistently prioritizing other people’s needs over our own can have negative consequences for our self-esteem and overall well-being. In this blog post, we’ll explore the importance of not giving into people-pleasing and how practicing self-love and self-awareness can help us break the cycle.

First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that people-pleasing behaviour often stems from a deep-seated fear of rejection. We worry that if we don’t go out of our way to make others happy, they won’t like us or want to be around us. However, constantly prioritizing others’ needs can lead to feelings of resentment, exhaustion, and even depression. Additionally, when we focus too much on making others happy, we often neglect our own needs and desires, leading to a lack of self-care and self-love.

Practicing self-love means prioritizing our own well-being and recognizing that we are just as deserving of care and attention as anyone else. When we love ourselves, we are more likely to set healthy boundaries and prioritize our own needs. We also become more confident in our decisions and less likely to seek external validation from others.

Self-awareness is another essential tool for breaking the cycle of people-pleasing. When we are aware of our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, we can better understand our motivations and make more intentional choices. For example, if we notice that we tend to agree with others even when we don’t truly feel the same way, we can pause and reflect on why we feel the need to do so. This self-awareness can help us identify and challenge negative patterns of behaviour and make more empowered choices that align with our values and priorities.

One way to practice self-awareness is through mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, we can become more aware of our thoughts and feelings and learn to observe them without reacting or attaching to them. This can help us break the cycle of automatic, people-pleasing behaviour and make more intentional choices that align with our true desires and values.

In conclusion, while people-pleasing behavior may feel like a way to gain acceptance and validation from others, it can ultimately lead to negative consequences for our self-esteem and overall well-being. By practicing self-love and self-awareness, we can break the cycle of people-pleasing and prioritize our own needs and desires. Remember, taking care of ourselves is not selfish; it’s essential for leading a happy and fulfilling life.


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